Apparently, every fuck-up large or small can now be solved with the simple, "It's the H1N1."
Failed attempts at using this excuse:
Teacher:
"Sorry I haven't marked your papers, and that my lectures suck, I had the H1N1."
Student:
"My dog H1N1-ed on my homework."
Friend:
"Gotta cancel our plans 15 min before because I just got the H1N1."
Fox News:
"We can't be Fair and Balanced! We got the H1N1."
Lover:
"Condoms irritate my H1N1."
Student:
"I can't write a bibliography in MLA format when I have the H1N1."
Speaking of the love making, my favourite advice on how to protect yourself from your BF's H1N1 courtesy of Cosmo magazine:
"Instead of doing missionary, switch to reverse cow girl - that way you won't breathe on each other and spread the H1N1."
Uhhhhh.....aren't you exchanging bodily fluids?
Other H1N1 advise from The Swine-Flu Club:
Do not alter your typical daily regimen: Sleep in, skip class, lounge around the dorm, and drink (lots of fluids).
Marijuana does not qualify as an "herbal remedy."
Getting an "I Survived Swine '09" tattoo is strongly discouraged.
Follow the Swine,
S
No comments:
Post a Comment